Still in jail awaiting trial for numerous charges, up to and including attempted murder, Bobby has had bail denied time and time again. The newest development in this ongoing comes from Shmurda’s mother, who recently told XXL that while locked up, he has been working on a script detailing the origins of GS9, several other members of which are being held for trial as well.

Uhh, Bobby, that might now be the best idea.

Remember the last thing you wrote? That song that made you famous? Remember how, as we have previously discussed, the lyrics are like 75% incriminating evidence? Remember Mitch? Remember how he caught a body a week and almost two years ago? He’s being charged for that.

This seems like a half-assed scheme the DA might cook up in a CSI knockoff. He doesn’t have enough evidence to convict, so he has a typewriter left in Shmurda’s cell hoping that, if left alone long enough, his burning desire to write will produce some kind of court admissible evidence.

So Bobby, do you get what I’m saying? This script is probably not a great idea. At the very least you gotta throw in some leprechauns or something that you can point to like “See? This couldn’t have happened. There are leprechauns. Leprechauns aren’t real”

After all the brawling at shows, highway shootouts, and beef with GBE, I assumed there was nothing Migos could do anymore that would surprise me. I was wrong.

The initial arrest wasn’t so shocking (guns and narcotics are kind of Migos’ thing), but shit started to heat up three days later when news surfaced that, while Takeoff and Quavo were back on the streets, Offset had been denied bail due to his history of legal issues. Rather than be daunted by this, Offset decided to abide by the old saying: “Every setback is just a new opportunity. An opportunity to start a prison riot”

And that’s exactly what he did.

Details are sparse, but apparently this all began when Offset got into it with another inmate on Saturday 5/2. It’s only speculation, but I like to think that the incident ended with Offset shouting “None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you, YOU’RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!”

While this kind of activity might boost your reputation on the inside, it isn’t the kind of thing that makes a judge inclined to let you out on bail. The following Friday he was denied bond for a second time and responded by yelling obscenities at the judge. Because ya know… Fuck it, I guess.

The whole thing definitely sticks to this whole doin-hood-shit thing Migos has going on, and I’m giving them a significant bump, but dude ya gotta stop. I’m already resigned to the fact that I’m not gonna see a Bobby Shmurda show until I’m old enough to collect social security, and now Migos has delayed their Yung Rich Nation tour. What’s it gonna take for me to see Migos live?

Props to anyone who prints out this article and relays my message to Offset by sneaking it to him hidden in a cake.