Well, I’ve got some bad news. We here at SCR have been had. We’ve been taken for a ride. We’ve been, I dunno… Bamboozled? All because we wanted so badly to believe that Bill Murray would break into a rich asshole’s house to steal a Wu Tang album.Recently, after Wu Tang’s one of a kind album was sold to hedge fund asshole Martin Shkreli, it was reported that a clause existed in the sales contract that would allow the Wu Tang Clan, with help from their trusty sidekick Bill Murray, to steal back the album. Via a heist. This turned out to be false. Huh.
Now other blogs have apologized for this mistake but that is because other blogs are pussies. We here at SCR, on the other hand, are not going to apologize. We are going to double down. We still want this heist to happen and we’re going to do our best to facilitate it. Of course we would never encourage someone, especially the Wu Tang Clan, to break the law… BUT, if The Wu Tang Clan were to attempt such a heist, and if they were to be caught in the attempt, someone would have to pay their bail.
I think that we, the fans, are obligated take up that cause. According to Wikipedia there are currently nine members of the Wu Tang Clan, adding Bill Murray makes ten. Bail for the crime of burglary is about $30k. $300K total. Again, we are NOT encouraging the Wu Tang Clan to commit any crimes BUT if they were to attempt the heist of this album for the sake of their fans, then their fans should come to their aid. That being said, I am happy to announce the Get Wu Tang Out Of Jail If They Attempt A Heist fund.
The premise is simple: if The Wu and/or Bill Murray attempts the heist previously discussed, we will pay their bail with this fund. In the event that we raise the money, but the heist is not attempted then the money raised will be donated to (Red), in order to spite the AIDS-drug-price-gouging fuccboi from whom the album could (hypothetically) be stolen.
One last time: we are NOT encouraging the Wu Tang to commit a crime. And we will not pay anyone else’s bail if they give this a shot. But the fund has been set up. I’m not sure whose court the ball is in right now, but it definitely isn’t in ours.
